Meno Martha’s 10 Fault Relationship Theory

Before replacing the current model,
with a younger, perkier, more adoring model,
it may be helpful or not, to be aware,
the new model could have 10 faults.

The new model’s 10 faults
may not be the same as
the old model’s 10 faults,
but they will still be 10 faults.

Meno Martha

Umbrella

What may the Menopause Relationships Umbrella include?

Depending on the Source (DotS) this Umbrella may include:

  • Other Relationships
  • Partners
  • Relationships
  • Spouses

Relationship Whammy

Can our menopause relationship with our self, be challenging?

I think our menopause relationship with our self has the potential to be challenging when we are trying to come to terms with our transformation into a hot flushing, night sweating, forgetful version of our former self.

Talking to someone we trust about our thoughts and feelings may be all we need to help keep us on track. Or more sleep. Or more physical activity. Or more laughter. Or more chocolate. Or not.

Relationships Double-Whammy

Can menopause relationships be a double-whammy? Menopause Relationships Menopause Relationships

I think menopause relationships have the potential to be a double-whammy when a male partner is going through male menopause – by any other name – or a female partner is going through her own menopause.

Relationships Triple-Whipple-Whammy

Can menopause relationships be a triple-whipple-whammy?

I think apart from trying to come to terms with our transformation into a hot flushing, night sweating, forgetful version of our former self and trying to be a supportive partner to Menopause Relationships Menopause Relationshipssomeone going through their own menopause, this can also be a time when one or both partners choose to put different aspects of their lives under the microscope.

This examination may include thoughts and feelings about menopause, aging, illness, health, weight, childlessness, adult children, grandchildren, parents, other family members, friends, colleagues, other relationships, current employment, unemployment, redundancy, retirement, sex or other issues.

Relationship Bottom Line

What can be the bottom line with menopause relationships?

I think the bottom line with menopause relationships can be, not to throw the baby out with the bathwater – so-to-speak – even when the baby is 50 ish, younger or older or should know better.

Instead, what it may be important to be clear about is, whether the issue is about the relationship or menopause, sex, other issues or a combination of issues.

Menopause or Not

Does menopause cause all sexual problems during this time?

Not necessarily. In Relationships: Relationships & Painful Sex the (Australian) Jean Hailes for Women’s Health (JH) elaborate on:

“For women approaching menopause who are experiencing sexual problems in a relationship, it is helpful to sort out how much is due to the physical symptoms of menopause rather than other sexual issues. It can be difficult to know if menopause influences your relationship with your partner, or if the relationship you have with your partner influences your experience of menopause”.1

Menopause Symptoms

Is there an association between menopause symptoms and relationships?

In Information for Partners: When Your Partner Is Going Through Menopause the JH elaborate on:

“There are many menopause symptoms that may impact on a woman’s relationships, especially the one with her intimate partner. It is important that you have some understanding of what is happening to your partner and realise that she is experiencing some major life and body changes that are out of her control. It will take time for her to work out the best way to approach and manage menopause and her symptoms. It is also worth remembering that you cannot always fix things but listening to your partner will be appreciated. Support and understanding from you can make this time much easier for her to cope with”.2

Sex

Is there an association between sex and menopause relationships?

In Information for Partners: Sex & Menopause the JH elaborate on:

“A key issue for couples and relationships may be that your partner is no longer keen to have sex. This can be for a range of reasons related to menopause symptoms. One key symptom is a dry vagina: Lower levels of oestrogen directly affect a woman’s vagina and can make it thinner, drier and less elastic. Also, testosterone levels fall gradually with age and this can have an impact on a woman’s level of desire at menopause”.3

In Menopause: Relationships, Sex and Contraception and the Menopause [Video Interview Stories] Healthtalk.org elaborate on:

“In any relationship there are times when couples face challenges. The menopause can be one such time. Faced with a loss of sex drive and other symptoms which make them feel hot, anxious and uncomfortable, women may find they no longer want to have sex as much as they did before the menopause. Communication can become strained, with partners feeling rejected and at a loss to know how best to support their menopausal partner. Women told us how their symptoms affected their relationships, and about sex and contraception during the menopause”.4

In Relationships the JH elaborate on:

Menopause Relationships“The impact of sexual problems on a relationship can be significant. Painful sex (dyspareunia), problems with libido, physical changes such as menopause can all impact on your sex life and your relationship. Consider having an open discussion with your partner and/or a health professional about how you feel. If you’ve been avoiding sex this can be especially difficult. But if you do find support, it can build intimacy and help you to manage your sexual relationship more honestly. The good news is there are strategies to help you”.5

In Information for Partners: Relationships the JH elaborate on:

“It is often difficult for partners to know how to help when their loved one is experiencing changes associated with menopause. Jean Hailes has put together a list of suggestions that may be helpful:

  • Listening is often better than trying to fix things…
  • Understanding ‘menopause’…
  • Menopause is an individual experience…
  • Understanding the priorities…
  • Changes you might make…
  • Consider going to the doctor together…
  • If there are relationship problems, try to discuss how you’re feeling…
  • What else is going on…
  • Communicate…
  • It’s not about you….
  • It may not be menopause…
  • Seek help from a range of practitioners if appropriate…”.6

Health Care Provider

What if I would like help with my relationship?

If you would like help with your relationship, it may be in your best interest to choose to talk to your health care provider about this.

In Marriage Counseling: Procedure Details — Why It’s Done the (United States) Mayo Clinic elaborate on:

“Marriage counseling can help couples in all types of intimate relationships — regardless of sexual orientation or marriage status”.7

Health Topics A-Z

Where may I find Health Topics related to Menopause Relationships?

In Health Topics A-Z you may find:

Links

Where may I find Links related to Menopause Relationships?

Your Country may have Links similar to:

Sources

Where may I find the Sources quoted?

You may find the Sources quoted at:

Sources

  1. Relationships: Relationships & Painful Sex. Last Updated: 10 January 2020 | Last Reviewed: 02 December 2013. Jean Hailes for Women’s Health https://jeanhailes.org.au/health-a-z/sex-sexual-health/relationships Accessed: 23 April 2020
  2. Information for Partners: When Your Partner Is Going Through Menopause. Last Updated: 14 January 2020 | Last Reviewed: 03 March 2014. Jean Hailes for Women’s Health https://jeanhailes.org.au/health-a-z/menopause/information-for-partners Accessed: 23 April 2020
  3. Information for Partners: Sex & Menopause. Last Updated: 14 January 2020 | Last Reviewed: 03 March 2014. Jean Hailes for Women’s Health https://jeanhailes.org.au/health-a-z/menopause/information-for-partners Accessed: 23 April 2020
  4. Menopause: Relationships, Sex and Contraception and the Menopause. Last Reviewed: July 2018. Healthtalk.org https://www.healthtalk.org/menopause/relationships-sex-and-contraception-and-the-menopause Accessed: 23 April 2020
  5. Relationships. Last Updated: 10 January 2020| Last Reviewed| 02 December 2013. Jean Hailes for Women’s Health https://jeanhailes.org.au/health-a-z/sex-sexual-health/relationships Accessed: 23 April 2020
  6. Information for Partners: Relationships. Last Updated: 14 January 2020 | Last Reviewed: 03 March 2014. Jean Hailes for Women’s Health https://jeanhailes.org.au/health-a-z/menopause/information-for-partners Accessed: 23 April 2020
  7. Marriage Counseling: Basics — Why It’s Done. 04 November 2017. Mayo Clinic https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/marriage-counseling/about/pac-20385249 Accessed: 23 April 2020
Topic Last Updated: 23 April 2020 — Topic Last Reviewed: 23 April 2020
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